Chinley Churn

Chinley churn ride started on a sunny Saturday morning fromWhaley Bridge in beautiful Derbyshire. There were only two brave souls stupid enough to turn out, me and Simon Retford.

I will change the names of the guilty for this next section to avoid embarrasment,to those involved, but you know who you are: Stuart said "i know a shortcut to Whaley Bridge", and duly began to direct me along 3 different motorways and numerous sideroads.When we arrived the speedo read 79 miles. Are you sure this is a shortcut Stuart i said "This is the way i always come" assured Stu

On the home leg i decided to take the LONG way round and to my surprise when i got home the speedo only read 54 miles, some shortcut Stuart

The Route was adapted from one shown in MBR which i have published in the Rides section, so if you fancy the sound of it have a look at the directions.

We set off from the railway station car park in Whaley Bridge, a slight flat section then Jeeeeesssuus.... it was a mega uphill on Tarmac for about a mile. Luckily we had to keep stopping to look at the map!!

Then it was off onto a small side track and along a grassy bank, then guess what another mile long climb along a rocky narrow track, there must be a downhill somewhere on this trail.

Simon told me that he had been hiking in the Lakes the previous day, and his legs were fucked, no independant witnesses, cos he went on his own, make up your own mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

We got to the top of the third grassy climb and decided to take a detour from the original route over the Allotments. Again another epic Rocky Trail, that was hard but enjoyable to complete.In the distance we spotted a herd of meandering red socks. It would be great sport to ride up to them and shout "Its a bridleway you idiots, get on the footpath"

Off i went at full tilt fully intent on scaring the poor bastards to death, but as i got closer i could see they were an elderly herd who were grazing happily, we simply doffed our caps and rode by, some good downhill section followed, then onto a narrow country lane, half way down was a quaint stone cottage. I looked at the gate which was covered in a rose arch, then saw a black and white blur shoot from the garden and straight for my calf. Luckily i had enough speed to leave the deranged Kamikaze collie floundering in the middle of the Lane.

What about Simon i thought......................, he was about 100yds behind me, should i shout to warn him of the beast from the cottage????

NO bollocks to it, he needs a bit of excitement in his life, just as i had made up my mind, i heard him say, F......kin collie, had to give it a kick with my S.P.D it nearly had me

Another quick downhill, then a vision in front of us, .....a PUB, In we went and obtained two flagons of ale from the delicious young bar maid, and discussed her body tattoo on the terrace outside.. .Simon had a look at the map to confirm our exact location, then off we set, "is It Left Here Simon" ? i questioned, "Straight on you numpty "was the reply from the human G.P.S system . We carried on uphill for another mile or two, before Simon humbly said, i think we should have turned left back there. I gritted my teeth and turned round, in no time at all we were back on track and scooting along the narrow country lanes, towards Whaley Bridge.

Out at an unfamiliar junction, were we lost again?, i saw two locals in a land rover, "where's Whaley Bridge Mate?" He looked at me with a smile and pointed along the lane about 5 metres, where i could see the Town Centre.

We missed all the rain, and although it was cold, an excellent ride out