Simon
estuvo enfermo en el baño
This
years trip was to Spain, the home of bullfights, siestas,Federico
García Lorca , and Pure Mountains.
As
always a synopsis of the days for those who cant read long passages
would be:
Delicious
breakfast
Riding
Delicious
picnic lunch
Riding
Beer,
good food and wine
We
set off in good spirits from East Midlands Airport, scanning the other
passengers and baggage for possible riding partners for the week ahead.
We identified another 3 likely riders in the queue, but on arrival
at Granada they walked off into the distance. So much for the detective
work.we waited in the searing heat for our host, and we were met ,
and introduced to the other riders for the week.
Caroline
and Simon were together and from halifax, Nick came on his own and
was also a good northern lad !, and for his sins had to share a room
with Si,then there was Jennie, or should we call you Doctor Jennifer?,
who had been researching Polymers (which means many bits) in case
you didnt know, and was taking up a career in teaching.
We
were loaded into the mini bus and given a crib sheet, in case we wanted
to stop for a wee. The driver Manuel didnt speak any English !.It
was a 2 Hour drive to the Village of Berchules, the mountain roads
were tight and winding and i think we all felt sick by the time we
arrived.Wec were dropped off at the local restaurant in town and met
by Jennie and Tim the owners. A quick grande bier, then it was off
for a short ride to the ranch!!
20
back crunching minutes later we arrived on top of a mountain in the
middle of nowhere, we went inside and found a beautiful house, along
with a delicious meal. Cant remember exactly what it was but it involved
cold pea salad, which sounds crap, but was great.A couple of beers
and off to bed.
DAY
1
This
was sold by Tim as a shortish ride to see how we all got on riding.
We set off in 30 degree heat and after a few hours of climbing and
a few technical sections, we wondered why we had signed up for this.We
were soon back at the house, and were taken down to the local hotel,
where there was the most miserable non english speaking waiter in
the world, but later his wife came out and she was very pleaseant.
Jennie dropped us off and left us to flounder hopelesslyordering our
meal. I ended up with an all day breakfast,Gaz got a goat passed through
a tree shredder. we managed to order several bottles of wine without
much problems, then it was off to the bar to sample some local brandy.
Nick decided he would order some ameretto, but got brandy, then i
ordered some more brandy.We were worse for wear at the end of the
night, so it would be a good idea to go straight to bed..........
Anyway, we got back opened another couple of bottles of red wine and
chatted.
Day
2
we
awoke next day to the smell of fresh bread and coffee and theme that
was repeated every day,breakfast was served on a large verandah that
overlooked the mountain side and was spectacular. We loaded up with
porridge, bread and honey for the days slog.Tim told us we were meeting
another couple who were coming on the ride with us. John and Sue.mmmmm
said simon some beautiful female interest?. We picked them up at the
hotel, how so so wrong can simon be, my god.
Tim
sold todays jaunt as a bit of a climb up to dinner, then all down
hill. Sounded great.The climb was on doubletrack in searing heat,
with John taking every opportunity to demoralise you by cycling past
at warp factor 10. That did give me and si chance to chat to Sue,
her helmet cheekily tipped to one side in a suggestive and sexy manner.
We got to dinner under the shade of some pine trees, i was exausted,
i could see Gaz was contemplating the Landrover, he was quiet and
kept looking over at the trailer, i was beginning to think the same,
especially when Tim announced it was another 20 min climb!!. Then
caroline announced, lets get going then, that shamed us into it, she
was new to cycling, but never gave up. We got to the top, then there
was a great singletrack descent, that was over much too soon, then
another 1 hour climb back to the House.
The
meal was at the house that night and was a delicious range of curries,
rice etc, it went down great with a few beers,
Day
3
This
was a shortish day after we all cried, whinged, complained, threatened
to go home to Tim.He came up with a great set of singletrack around
the village, loads of great riding including the narrow track at the
riverside, then came..........THE LIP OF FEAR. Jennnie had apparently
been struggling with riding this steep drop, and Tim anounced that
we all should try, off we all went over into the Abyss. Tim standing
by to catch us if we fell. I noticed he moved away as i came over,
but luckily didnt need him, i would have crushed him like a grape
anyway
Jen
came over the lip, braked, stalled then did a spectacular mid air
ballerina act, Tim jumped in and caught her mid air, they both landed
in a heap no worse for wear.The day carried on in the same vain, with
some great little technical
challenges.We ended up at the local Swimming Pool, and all had a cool
down , swim and a few beers.Simon was complaining about the heat,
but Si its Spain in July, and you are carrying a rucksack with enough
kit for a rounmd the world trip that a Marine would struggle with,
what did you expect????
We
were treated to a delicious Paella at the house, washed down with
beer and wine(can you see a pattern yet?). I thought i saw Tim with
a handbag tonight as he passed through the living room, i must have
been drunk/mistaken, must have been Jennies, i just tried to put it
at the back of my mind.It cant be true a man with a handbag
Jen
on the narrow river ride
Day
4
Tim
gave us a choice today.
Ride
another 4 hour killer uphill/have a day off at the local bar
Nick
took the sadist route, everyone else decided to have a day off, Caroline
pretended she was thinking of riding, but she didnt fool anybody i
could see in her eyes she wanted a large plate of Chorizio. She kept
up the charade right up to breakfast then folded like a cheap pack
of cards.
Simon
decided to stay at the house with Dr Jen, Me Gaz Caroline and Simon
went into town for a walk and a drink.For once in his entire life
Gaz actually had an idea where we were in relation to the village.
I didnt have a clue. i was dumfounded.We still managed to get lost,
me and Simon decided to go to the bar and wait for the other 2 to
join us, another few beers and a dip in the pool passed away a lazy
afternoon, the most exercise we did was to cheer nick and Tim on when
we saw them cycling back up the hill. Simon asked Caroline to order
him some food, i said order me the same. What came was 2 plates of
fried Chorizio sausage and some dried bread...bargain at 18 euros!.The
waiter must have been pissing himself in the kitchens.
Too
Much sausage....
We
were taken to the local village at god knows where tonight, the restaurant
looked really nice, it was like sitting in a Museum!. The service
was not the best, the food was not much better, but most importantly
the wine was good, so it wasent all lost.Nick finally managed to get
his ameretto liquer. we even had to force them to accept our moneyl,
the long ride back to the house was fun, we had all had a few drinks
and Gaz was taking flash photos through the landrover window much
to the concern of Jen who was worried about the police stopping us!,
but we are the police was the reply.
Day
5
Today
was a long long uphill with loads of chicanes, but it was somehow
enjoyable, must have been the legs getting fitter.We rode past a large
herd of cattle which unnerved Si, ive never seen him pedal as fast,
well i hadent till later on the same day when we had to out pedal
a herd of rabid dogs!. we finally got to the top of the climb in one
piece from where we could see snow on the summit of Mulhacen, Spain's
highest peak and rode a fantastic descent through the forest, Si got
over confident and decided he was a downhill airbourne riding god.
He announced, get a picture im going back to jump that lip.Off he
went with a purposeful but slightly adrenelin fuelled look on his
face. He pedalled up to speed, approached the lip, cameras were poised
at the ready to catch the graceful flight of this athelete.He hit
the lip, man and machine is dispropotionate panic, the front of the
bike took an immediate nose dive, Si tried to recover but it was too
late, it had all gone orrible, he some how managed to stay on the
bike until it ground to a stop. He looked up in a trembling, petrified
stupor, did you get a picture?.We could not speak for laughing, tears
were rolling down my face, in the comedy of the moment no one managed
to get a shot.Classic.
All
of us had flats today, but when we got back to the house we were all
satisfied with the days riding, and the barbie rounded the day off,i
saw Tim again with a small black package, he was carrying it like
a woman, but i told myself it would either be some bike parts or a
lads mag, couldent be a handbag, could it???.I
was stuck 3000 metres up in the middle of nowhere , so i told myself
it could not be a handbag, no way.
Its
only a cow
Day
6
The
last day before going home, we were all used to the day to day rigours
of riding with a full pack by now, and were looking forward to the
ride. Tim and Jennie led us out followed by the ever present Lucy.
The ride was a mix of singletrack descents,climbs then a mega rocky
descent at the end which had most of us walking with the exception
of gaz and Tim.We finished off at a small village, and then were taken
back to the house for an early bath ready for a drink and a meal out
in Town.
We
all got showered and as we came out into the dining room i was stunned
to see a sight that still brings me out in a cold sweat as i am typing.............Tim
was standing in the middle of the room in full view of everyone holding
a handbag, i recoiled in shock, rubbed my eyes, and hoped beyond hope
it was Jennies and he was just taking some keys out of it.My eyes
quickly shot to jennie, Christ help me she had a handbag of her own.What
can i do, what if he wants me to sit next to him in the restaurant,
i averted my gaze away from him and carried on as normal as i could,
quickly wiping the beads of sweat from my brow.Nothing was said during
the long journey down to the village but our eyes met on several,occasions,
and he knew i knew!!.
We
had a great meal in the restaurant, a good few drinks of the super
strong beers which went straight to my head, when we got back to the
house i was out like a light.
All
in all a great holiday, with a smashing set of people. i would recommend
Pure Mountains to anyone, if Tim loses the handbag!!
